Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize