You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
