butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
