there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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