she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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