tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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