Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
