Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
