I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
