He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
