i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
