Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
