why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
