3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
