How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
