better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
