My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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