I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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