My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
