I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
