My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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