is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
