Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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