singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We got so high we made milksteak
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
