Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
