We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
