absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize