i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
