I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
