It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
