I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she smelled like a LAN party
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
