I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
