Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
