return my video game
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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