woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
