the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
