Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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