She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Are we still banned from the library?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
