I'm gonna have a badass scar
It's Friday. Sex?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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