I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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