So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
