Is it because I queefed?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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