Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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