Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
