you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
