my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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