i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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