we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
