Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
