look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
