hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
