wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
