Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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