Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize