The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
