Where is the hickey?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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