You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
