if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
