so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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