from now on my penis is your penis
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
