i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
