We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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