belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think my moral compass just broke
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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