Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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