I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
