Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
