VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
