I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
bring money and cleavage
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
