Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
