Its about making memories worth repressing
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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